ey

fucking trapped in no exit zone...
laziness has bitten my ass ..cant concerntrate on nythin.....god knows from where... no i am struckby massive hair loss..of all the solvable problems now i have one that cant be solved..
my patience has run out...being calm just aint happenin.. i dumb enuf to believe it cant be controlled..its the natural reflex and reaction..
The net self help is all money based...they how to lure you into paying them...
I dont have how i am goin to copp with everything.. the tow p's of lyf patience and prayer ..help a lone...tc''

All feeling of helpless ness rushes back when i made this call to guy to get back the money he had borrowed a month ago.How easily he comes with a exucse and shuts me out without an argument.I am dissapointed because i couldn talk him to get my money back.I begin to realise how manipulative man has got,how ruthless ppl are.
How different is logic reasoning of ppl are.The rule now a days"NOmatter what ..you are right if stand by it"

same routine

waking daily to nightmare of lyf...noway i see it to be interesting ..maybe i am theh k ind of guy who wants things to happen for me ... without makin ny effort ..

still lack confi.. to make a conversation..win a argument..etc..which i think is very important...

have driven to the track of vices..did find some peace...but got out of it without being addicted to any.

its tru ..lyf is what u make of it..!!! my whole lyf i kept thinking why dont things be as i want it to be..coz i never honestly made a effort to change myself or wats around me.. to a extent...

have tried to take a back seat and hide in the crowd ....

theres nothin to look back to reinforce my confi..

i never tried to change..maybeb my outlook is different.. coz wat i want is others to appreciate me...thats quite unnecessary...
the basics of my logic and prejudice are wrong and biased ..
hardwired to think the worng way ..how am i supposed to correct that....

just a start

hey,
beginning to get hold of bloggin...yeah i am late...Anyway gettin hold of my thoughts and putting it into words will take eevn longer tym.
What makes this a better than writing a dairy is that .. others to get to read..
my random thots..!!!

I'm 22 yrs old.Completed my engg.Still have no idea what to do with lyf and what to purse.There will be few transition phase in everyone ones lyf.Some wher i missed out that..

I 'm still this happy -go-get -lucky kind of guy.

I am thankful for the four great college years i had..It was kind of a revelation of how much different things are.

Still tryin to block out the social anxiety ..i beleive i have..Its kind of being in self absorbing sphere hard to get out of.The college years made me more outgoin ...i am thankfuk for that...

Have read a lot(*few) of self -help books on personality ..you can win..etc kind of thing...Its not of much help other than describin me as negative thinker with low self esteem ..imposing it on me much harder than it really is.i think its better to start to work out things on your own...No expert can know you better than u do.

I really find peace in writing this ..what ever it maybe.Easier said..its really difficult to follow what you heart says(What u really want)Bçoz most of the tym our experienced conscience stopps us.